"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us."

Title is Romans 8:37 KJV

This was another post on a Christian Forum which I was asked to share here.
The question was posed by a young man who asked basically if God would hate him because he has homosexual lustful feelings.  Some of his more specific questions are included and answered at the end of this post.

Dear OP,
I would like to say some things and I don't want you, or anyone else, to take them as personal criticism, but as advice.
In the Christian community, for some reason, homosexuality is treated as though it is THE SINGLE BIGGEST and most EVIL sin/problem in the world. That mentality is completely flawed and unbalanced.
I believe it is perpetuated due to ignorance and most probably as a vehicle that Satan uses to make Christians look like cruel hypocrites. And I know that people treating it that way are doing what they're taught to do. It is something that disgusts me. Jesus never treated people as though they are diseased or beneath him. He treated all (even Satan) with respect.
We, as Christians, are commanded to love our enemies. It doesn't matter what you think is wrong with them. It doesn't matter if they disagree with you. Why, then, does the Christian treat homosexuals as though they're cockroaches or something not worthy of our respect, and deserving of our never ending scorn?

I used to have bookmarked (but I lost all my browser bookmarks due to a stupid mistake) a site which showed how, although homosexuality is an abomination unto God, so is eating Seafood other than fish, and many other things which Christians do all the time. I am in no way saying that God isn't serious about those other things, because I do believe He is - and I do not care if someone agrees with me or not, I am concerned with God pleasing, and not people pleasing - but, why do we treat those other things so flippantly or outright ignore them, but viciously taunt, torment and shun homosexuals? If you're going to take one thing so seriously, take them all seriously. This kind of thing is why people see Christianity as a joke.

There is a lot of horrible stuff going on these days as far as food contamination, radiation in the environments we live in (mostly concentrated within large cities), the way we cook our food (microwaves), all the hormones in our food that are toxic.
In that light, (and I actually hesitate to say this because it sort of sounds like I'm saying that homosexuals are horrible freaks - but it's not what i mean at all) I actually do believe homosexuals are born that way. There is so much we do to our biological system through these contaminations that do cause people to be born with confused feelings. Just look at the influx of the amount of homosexuals that there are over the last 20 years - and perhaps there were lots before that who were afraid to speak about being so because of the persecution they would face, but I do believe there are more. So many other things have increased too. It's not a coincidence.

There are many things we're born with/as that so strongly influence or even constitute our personality, habits and actions. Why is it less bad for someone to be a liar, a thief, a gossip (many people actually think gossiping is fine or even "harmless fun"), two-faced, etc than to be homosexual. It's ALL sin. Sin is sin is sin is sin. But the problem I see is that we are taught to treat one sin in complete imbalance from all the others.
Now, it may sound like I'm condoning homosexuality. I do not. At all. But I have compassion for those who are homosexual, or transexual, or whatever other sexual deviation that we have in society. I treat them like humans.
The reason it is a sin is because it is not within the family structure which God established.

The family is such an important institution in God's kingdom and it is something that Satan attacks on a constant basis. It is, as I’ve said in other threads, God's picture to us of Himself, and His relationship with us. It is the environment by which children are raised and taught truth, honour, morals, responsibility, how to relate to others on many different levels, wisdom, friendship. I could go on and on. And when you tear that apart, you will see the collapse of society. There is a concrete reason for everything that God establishes and does here on Earth. But I honestly see our families being torn apart, even within the scope of Christianity. Blaming homosexuals for this is unfair.

Okay, this was a lot longer than I planned this to be, but to wrap this up, OP, I think the point of this post is how out of balance we place homosexuality.
Please forgive my rambling. But to answer your questions

1- Will god forgive me for having these feelings ? can I be a christian who go to church and pray for Jesus to heal me and help me to overcome these thoughts? is having these thoughts is a sin ?!

Yes, Jesus will forgive you. Jesus loves you more than you can imagine. Pray for healing (if homosexuality is truly healable) and for Jesus to give you strength to withstand temptation and lustful thoughts. Lust is a sin no matter who you are. You're no different there than anyone else. He has healed my lustful mind so there is no doubt He can heal yours if you surrender to Him.

2- Should I tell my friends and loose them ? or should I keep it as a secret between me and my family and god? is it okay to have male friends if I don't get sexual attracted to them?

If they would shun you for this, they are not your friends. Good riddance to them. If they are there for you and treat you with the love and respect that Jesus himself would, you probably have a friend for life in them. Family is a tough call. It depends on their view of homosexuality. I think if they are true followers of Christ and they follow his treatment of people, they will get over it. I would pray a lot before telling them though. Pray for guidance in this issue because it is tough.

3- How can I live a life without depression that I will not marry and be alone forever ?

My brother, if you have Jesus, you are never alone. Seek Jesus with all of your heart and He will always be with you. You will grow to have never ending peace and joy. Sometimes it's hard to accept something that may have to be a reality but Jesus can strengthen you and give you endurance.

4- Is it a cross I should hold it my life and if I keep struggling all my life, god will be happy of me ?

If you do your best, with the help of Jesus, to obey God and you are a child of God through Jesus' sacrifice (ie, you repent from sin and follow Jesus), you have done all that has been asked of you. God is not waiting to catch us sinning so that He can smite us. He wants us to surrender our hearts, minds, souls to Him so that He can carry out his work through us, for His glory. If you're doing that, and you endure to the end in doing that (which requires prayer and reading the Bible, always) you're good.